anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
