My first STD was from a foam party
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
