Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
we're so committed to being not committed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
