My balls are so social today.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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