I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I lost the right to judge tonight
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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