I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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