What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
