I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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