You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
