Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
