I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
