i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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