I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
