So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Alive.
So much puke
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
