I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
