We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
