I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
