so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i need some magic done to my vagina
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
