Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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