Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
