i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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