i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
