I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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