my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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