I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
