protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize