I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
