Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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