Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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