Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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