He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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