What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
