Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
