never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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