I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
