he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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