his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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