what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
