Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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