I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
