I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
