quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
