So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
