She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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