It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
