Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
