Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
