Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I party with great urgency now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
