3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
