This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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