Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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