CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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