If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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