unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
